Parental Alienation and Custody Disputes in Washington State

Parental alienation affects not only a parent’s relationship with their child but also the child’s emotional well-being. When one parent tries to turn a child against the other parent, their actions can harm the parent-child bond for years. For the alienated parent, this situation feels hopeless, as repeated attempts to reconnect may be met with avoidance or rejection.

Over the last two decades, our Spokane family law attorneys have worked with many alienated parents as well as many parents wrongly accused of alienation, and we know how emotionally taxing and legally complex these situations can be.

Let us guide you through the psychological and legal implications of these co-parenting conflicts and the steps you can take if you’re dealing with a hostile co-parent in Washington state.

What Is Parental Alienation?

The concept of parental alienation alleges that a child becomes estranged from one parent because of the systematic psychological manipulation of the other parent. Parental alienation can range from subtle behaviors like negative remarks about the other parent to more overt and extreme tactics, which may include lying to the child to instill fear or distrust.

Whether alleged or factual, this issue frequently arises in contentious custody battles; noncustodial parents often claim that the custodial parent is attempting to undermine their relationship with their child.

However, the topic of parental alienation remains controversial; some argue that it is overused as a legal tactic in custody disputes, while others see it as a pervasive issue that adversely affects many co-parenting relationships.

Examples of Behaviors That Could Be Perceived as Parental Alienation

To better understand the kinds of actions that might be seen as parental alienation, consider the following examples:

• Making negative or derogatory comments about the other parent in front of the child.
• Restricting or withholding communication between the child and the other parent.
• Failing to inform an ex-partner about significant life events, such as school achievements, medical appointments, or extracurricular activities.
• Encouraging the child to reject or feel negatively toward the other parent.
• Refusing to cooperate with visitation schedules or creating unnecessary obstacles for visits.
• Fabricating accusations against the ex-partner to damage the parent-child relationship.

Whether intentional or not, these behaviors can be distressing for your child. They can also affect custody outcomes.

If you believe that parental alienation is affecting your relationship with your child, you should first try to resolve the issue constructively. Open communication and professional counseling have helped many co-parents learn to work together for their children’s best interests. Legal guidance is another valuable tool for protecting your parental bond and your child’s well-being.

How Washington Courts Handle Parental Alienation Claims

Washington courts prioritize the best interests of the child, as outlined in RCW 26.09.002 and RCW 26.09.187. These laws emphasize the importance of maintaining strong, meaningful relationships with both parents.

In accordance with these laws, the courts evaluate allegations of alienation carefully. They are not likely to take one parent’s word for it, however. The courts require credible evidence to support claims of parental alienation.

If the court finds evidence of behaviors like restricting communication, making negative comments, or fostering distrust, they may take this into account during custody decisions — especially if these behaviors harm the child’s relationship with the other parent.

Role of Experts and Evaluators

Custody evaluators and mental health professionals play a critical role in assessing claims of parental alienation. While these experts provide valuable insights, the process is not without challenges:

• Impartiality: Evaluators can be influenced by manipulative behaviors, making it essential to select unbiased professionals.
• Expert testimony: Professional assessments help validate a parent’s claims in court, although these professionals may charge high fees for their time.
• Documentation: Records of parenting schedules, interactions with the other parent, and violent or threatening actions can support a claim.

Your parental alienation lawyer might rely on third-party testimony and thorough documentation to counter potential bias and support your position.

Challenges and Legal Processes

Physically interfering with a co-parent’s court-ordered custody time is illegal under RCA 9A.40.060. However, Washington does not have specific laws addressing verbal parental alienation. Instead, the courts are guided by general custody statutes.

Proving alienation during a custody dispute is difficult. The court might require substantial evidence or credible expert testimony to support your allegations. Any third-party custody evaluations might be influenced by manipulative behavior on the part of your ex-partner. This makes thorough documentation critical.

After reviewing your documentation and other evidence, the court will consider the impact of parental alienation on your child’s well-being before making a custody decision. Your family law attorney can help you gather and present compelling evidence in order to protect your child’s best interests.

Psychological Insights and Effects

Parental alienation can have serious psychological effects on children, parents, and families. It disrupts the natural dynamics of parent-child relationships and often leaves lasting emotional scars.

When parents know how to recognize alienating tactics, they can mitigate their effects and protect the well-being of all involved.

Effects on Children

Parental alienation can profoundly disrupt a child’s emotional and psychological development. This can manifest in several ways:

• Emotional confusion: Children may feel torn between their parents.
• Increased anxiety or depression: The stress of navigating conflicting messages from parents can lead to mental health challenges.
• Behavioral changes: Alienated children may become withdrawn or show signs of defiance toward one parent.
• Identity struggles: Prolonged parental alienation can lead to confusion about personal values, self-worth, and relationships.

A mental health professional can help a child work through some of the conflicting and distressing emotions they experience when one parent tries to turn them against the other parent.

Effects on the Alienated Parent

For the targeted parent, the experience of parental alienation can take an emotional toll and become socially isolating:

• Feelings of loss and rejection: Alienated parents often feel as though their child has been taken away from them emotionally, even if they retain legal custody rights.
• Emotional distress: Anxiety, depression, and frustration may stem from the erosion of the parent-child relationship.
• Difficulty rebuilding relationships: Reestablishing trust and connection with a child after alienation requires time, effort, and often, professional intervention.

Parental alienation is not only a legal issue but also a deeply personal and emotional challenge that can profoundly affect children and parents. By understanding the psychological consequences, parents can take proactive steps to address alienation tactics and protect their children’s mental health.

Sometimes, parental alienation evolves into or is accompanied by physical abuse. If your family has dealt with domestic violence and you want to learn more about how it affects child custody, turn to Hodgson Law Office for guidance on domestic violence in WA state.

What to Do About Parental Alienation

When the issue of parental alienation arises, you can take proactive steps to mitigate its effects. Here’s what to do, depending on your role in the situation.

Advice for Parents Alleging Alienation (Alienated Parents)

1. Communicate openly with your child:
   • Spend quality time with your child without pressuring them to choose sides.
   • Keep discussions about the other parent neutral and avoid responding to any negative comments the child may repeat.
2. Maintain transparency with the co-parent:
   • Regularly share updates about your child’s activities, school events, and medical appointments.
   • Use written communication (e.g. emails or parenting apps) with the other parent instead of phone calls.
3. Document evidence thoughtfully:
   • Keep a detailed record of interactions with your co-parent and child, including any instances that may indicate alienation.
   • Save text messages, emails, or voicemails that show efforts to harm your child’s relationship with you.

Advice for Parents Accused of Alienation (Alienating Parents)

1. Reflect on your behavior:
   • Consider whether your actions may unintentionally contribute to the perception of alienation.
   • Take steps to adjust your behavior to prioritize your child’s best interests.
2. Encourage positive bonds:
   • Facilitate the child’s relationship with the other parent by sharing reminders of special dates (birthdays, holidays) and encouraging phone calls or visits.
   • Let the noncustodial parent know about all of your child’s activities and extracurriculars. Send the noncustodial parent report cards and school information as well as all updates on dental and doctor appointments.
   • Do not bad-mouth the other parent in front of your child, and when speaking to your ex-partner, refer to the child as “ours” and not “my”.
3. Engage a family therapist:
   • Show the court your willingness to cooperate and prioritize your child’s well-being by seeking professional help.
   • Work with a family therapist to address underlying co-parenting conflicts and guide you toward healthier communication patterns.

Advice for Both Parents in a Parental Alienation Case

Whether you’ve been accused of or are on the receiving end of parental alienation (or both), you should always put your child’s needs first — and document that you have done so.

First, involve a child psychologist who can assess and address any emotional struggles your child may be facing. The psychologist’s objective findings can also be instrumental in court.

Additionally, save any communications with your ex-partner, as this can be helpful evidence in a custody battle. The truth is that a child may at some point become naturally closer to one parent or another. Especially during a heated custody battle or embittered divorce, a child may choose sides without being manipulated into doing so. While the other parent may not like this, a rift in the parent-child relationship is not always attributable to Parental Alienation.

#cta_here

Contact a Parental Alienation Attorney Today

Parental alienation is a tactic used to tear away a child instead of working with the other parent to create a meaningful relationship with the child after a divorce. Whether you’re facing allegations of alienation or suspect you’re a victim, consider seeking professional guidance from child psychologists, family therapists, and family law practitioners.

At Hodgson Law Office, we help families in Spokane and across Washington with the emotional and legal challenges of custody disputes, including cases involving parental alienation. If your family is in conflict, don’t hesitate to reach out. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation.