Stop Holiday Custody Battles: Washington Parents' Solution Guide

The holidays should bring joy and family togetherness, not stress and conflict. Yet for divorced or separated parents in Washington State, figuring out who gets the children for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other special occasions can quickly turn festive planning into a battleground. As an experienced child custody attorney in Spokane, I've helped families create custody holiday schedules that work for everyone involved.

Key Takeaways

• Holiday schedules override regular parenting plans in Washington State.
• Alternating years is the most common approach for major holidays.
• Written agreements prevent conflicts and should be included in your parenting plan.
• Children's ages affect scheduling — younger kids need shorter separations.
• Flexibility and communication are essential for successful holiday co-parenting.

What Every Washington Parent Should Know About Holiday Custody

A holiday custody schedule outlines exactly when children will spend time with each parent during holidays and special occasions throughout the year. These schedules take precedence over your regular parenting plan, ensuring both parents get meaningful holiday time with their children.

Why Holiday Schedules Matter

Under Washington law (RCW 26.09.184), parenting plans must include specific provisions for holidays, birthdays, vacations, and other special occasions. This isn't just bureaucratic red tape — it's recognition that holidays are emotionally charged times when conflicts often arise.

Without a clear holiday schedule, even well-meaning parents can end up in disputes. One parent books plane tickets to visit extended family for Christmas, while the other assumes the children would wake up in their home Christmas morning. These misunderstandings create stress for everyone, especially the children.

Common Ways to Divide Holiday Time in Washington

Washington courts recognize several approaches to dividing holiday time, each with distinct advantages depending on your family's situation.

Alternating Years (Most Common)

The most straightforward approach involves parents alternating holidays each year. For example:

• Mother has Thanksgiving in odd years (2025, 2027).
• Father has Thanksgiving in even years (2026, 2028).

This method ensures both parents experience major holidays with their children over time while maintaining predictability.

Splitting the Holiday

Some parents divide the actual holiday, particularly when they live close together. Common splits include:

• Christmas Eve with one parent, Christmas Day with the other.
• Thanksgiving morning until 2 PM with Parent A, 2 PM onward with Parent B.

While this allows children to see both parents on important days, frequent transitions can be stressful, especially for younger children.

Fixed Holiday Assignments

Certain holidays naturally align with specific parents:

• Mother's Day is always with the mother.
• Father's Day is always with the father.
• Religious holidays with the parent who practices that faith.

Extended Holiday Periods

For holidays spanning multiple days, parents might alternate portions:

• First half of winter break (including Christmas) with Parent A.
• Second half of winter break (including New Year's) with Parent B.

Creating Your Washington Holiday Custody Schedule

Creating a bulletproof holiday schedule means thinking through every scenario before conflicts arise — here's your step-by-step roadmap.

Step 1: Identify All Relevant Holidays

Start by considering every holiday and special occasion important to your family. Federal and state holidays form the foundation: New Year's Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Presidents' Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Washington families must also account for school breaks, including winter break, spring break, summer vacation, and teacher professional days. Don't forget personal occasions that matter to your family — children's birthdays, parents' birthdays, religious holidays specific to your faith, and annual family reunion dates.

Step 2: Establish Clear Timeframes

Vague language creates conflicts. Instead of "Christmas holiday", specify:

"Christmas vacation begins at 6:00 PM on the last day of school before winter break and ends at 6:00 PM on the day before school resumes."

Step 3: Address Transportation

Clearly state who handles pick-up and drop-off for each holiday exchange. Many parents use a neutral location or alternate responsibility.

Step 4: Plan for Conflicts

When regular schedules clash with holidays, the holiday schedule takes precedence. Address potential overlaps explicitly in your plan.

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Washington-Specific Holiday Considerations

Geography, culture, and military life create unique hurdles for Washington parents that standard custody guides completely overlook.

Geographic Challenges

Washington's diverse geography can complicate holiday schedules:

• Cascade Mountains may make winter travel between Eastern and Western Washington hazardous.
• Ferry schedules affect families split between the mainland and the islands.
• Canadian border proximity requires special planning for international holiday travel.

Cultural Diversity

Washington's multicultural population means considering various holiday traditions:

• Asian New Year celebrations (Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean).
• Native American ceremonies and pow-wows.
• Diverse religious observances beyond mainstream holidays.

Military Families

With Joint Base Lewis-McChord and Naval Base Kitsap, many Washington families navigate military deployment schedules alongside custody arrangements. Courts typically show flexibility for military parents' leave schedules.

Sample Holiday Schedule Frameworks

Here's how successful co-parents actually structure their holiday schedules — proven frameworks you can adapt for your family.

Thanksgiving Weekend

Option 1 — alternating years:

• Odd years: Wednesday after school through Sunday 6 PM with Mother.
• Even years: Wednesday after school through Sunday 6 PM with Father.

Option 2 — split holiday:

• Thanksgiving Day until 2 PM with a parent per regular schedule.
• 2 PM Thursday through Sunday with the alternating parent.

Winter Break

Option 1 — first half/second half:

• First half (including Christmas): Alternate annually.
• Second half (including New Year's): Opposite parent from the first half.

Option 2 — fixed division:

• Christmas Eve noon through Christmas Day noon: Mother.
• Christmas Day noon through December 26 noon: Father.
• The remainder follows the regular schedule.

Summer Vacation

For school-age children:

• Each parent receives two uninterrupted weeks.
• Notice required by April 1st.
• Cannot conflict with summer school or camps.

Technology Tools for Managing Holiday Schedules

Modern co-parenting benefits from digital organization tools that keep both parents synchronized. Shared calendar applications like Google Calendar provide transparent scheduling, while specialized parenting apps designed for custody schedules offer additional features like expense tracking and communication logs.

Some Washington counties even provide court-specific tools to help parents manage their arrangements. For communication, email chains create valuable documentation, while parenting communication apps can reduce conflict by providing structured messaging environments.

Create a Smooth Custom Holiday Schedule with Our Help

Creating an effective holiday custody schedule requires balancing legal requirements, practical considerations, and emotional needs. The goal isn't winning more time but ensuring children maintain meaningful relationships with both parents during special occasions.

Don't let another holiday season pass in confusion or conflict. Hodgson Law Office can help you develop a comprehensive custody holiday schedule that protects your parenting time while prioritizing your children's best interests. Contact us today to start planning for peaceful holidays ahead.