Maybe you’re a free-wheeling sort and you roll your eyes when your partner insists on pinching pennies all the time. Or maybe you’re the frugal one and it makes you crazy that your fiance’s attitude toward debt is “live now, worry later.” Perhaps you and your partner are pretty aligned regarding your views on spending and saving — but you feel like your partner is a little stingy when it comes time to “share the wealth” from their greater income. Then again, there’s always the possibility that one of you is hiding money or debts from the other.
All of these scenarios can set the stage for a relationship that will fail shortly out of the starting gate. When spouses have opposing views on money — whether it’s about saving, spending habits or sharing — that can lead to a lot of unmet expectations and grief.
So is there any remedy to the problem? Some experts say that the best way to combat long-term issues is to communicate clearly about your thoughts about money and try to develop shared goals that you can both agree upon. If necessary, you may need to each keep separate accounts for personal expenses and establish a joint account for household bills like the rent, utilities and food.
You may also want to get a prenuptial agreement. While certainly not one of the more romantic aspects of a marriage, prenups can actually ease tensions and create a sense of security for both parties. By agreeing on what would be a fair financial split if the marriage fails — now, while things are going well — both of you can move forward feeling confident that you’re financially protected in the future. That sense of security can make it easier to cope with your differing money habits.
Prenuptial agreements aren’t a recipe for a doomed marriage. Instead, they’re actually a good starting point when two people with very different views on money need to get on the same page.